Remember when you were growing up and your mom would ask you, “If all your friends jumped off a bridge, would you?” Did you ever wonder what her intentions behind this question were?
Chances are, the reason she frequently asked you this is because she was trying to teach you something. She was trying to say that the people you spend your time with are the people you become like. You do what they do, you want what they want, you develop similar attitudes and personalities to them.
The Wisdom Post gave a great insight when they said, “If you want to see a preview of your future, look to whom you are hanging out with. We will become what we think about most of the time, and what we think about [is] greatly determined by who we spend the most amount of time with.” If you surround yourself with people who boost you up, encourage you, and motivate you, you will be more driven to become successful and work hard. On the other hand, if you spend your time with people who think dreams are dumb, are full of fears, and have no motivation, you are more likely to not try as hard or work towards your goals.
Are lousy friends really going to help determine your future? Well in a way, yes! The negativity or positivity you surround yourself can really impact your life.
Surrounding yourself with other people, other voices, and other opinions can change your mind and your future. Sam Collier from Relevant Magazine explains, “As humans, we hunger for acceptance. We want validation. We long for belonging. And our friends give us those things. Therefore, our friends have the power to influence our thoughts, decisions and atmosphere.” Those aspects play a role in our future and who we will become.
Just think about the peer pressure from growing up. If someone did something cool or different, their friend would soon follow, and another friend, and another person that wanted to fit in, and soon everyone was doing it even if it was risky or scary. Think about trends in high school. Someone got a new style of shirt and then their friend did, and someone else, until everyone was following the trend. This goes for several things including what you eat, think, do, wear, play, participate in, and more.
While having friends isn’t a bad thing, having bad friends is a bad thing. The Insider explains how bad friends can increase your stress levels, put unnecessary risk levels on you, and encourage unhealthy behaviors. This added stress and risk can cause your focus and motivation to significantly drop. Stay away from toxic friends and you will start to notice how much more clarity and drive you have!
Focus on surrounding yourself with good friends and positive influences. How do you know if you have good friends? Lifehack states good friends listen to you, care about you, know boundaries, support you, are honest, check on you, are reliable, and want to help you improve.
Now back to the bridge question. Instead of asking yourself, “If all my friends jumped off a bridge, would I?”, change it to, “If all my friends jumped off a bridge, SHOULD I?” The difference lies between would and should. If your friends have a negative impact on you, don’t motivate you, and don’t encourage you to become better, you probably shouldn’t follow them off the bridge. If your friends have a positive impact on you, motivate you, inspire you, and want to help you, you might want to jump off the bridge with them. They could be avoiding danger, moving on to a better opportunity, or celebrating a success!
If you want to be successful and live a happy life, surround yourself with people who want the same for you!